HOW WILL I BE MATCHED WITH A CHILD?
The application and interview process helps us to get to know your preferences and learn about the situation best suited for you. You also get to know us and learn what to expect. In making your match, we take into account your personality, likes, dislikes, age preferences, background, and location. In addition, the final decision about a match is always yours.
HOW DO CHILDREN COME INTO THE PROGRAM?
Children and parents may hear about BBBS from a teacher, a counselor, their church, a friend who has a Big, commercials, etc. All children and their parents choose to be part of our program.
WHO ARE THE CHILDREN IN THE PROGRAM?
Our Littles come from various types of home environments and family structures, different socio-economic levels, ethnic backgrounds, and neighborhoods and school across our entire community. Their backgrounds and personalities are unique. They all have a need for friendship with a caring adult.
WHEN CAN I SEE MY LITTLE?
You and your Little – and his or her parent – decide the best times for your match to meet. Keep a consistent schedule, and see each other at least twice a month to establish a genuine relationship and comfort level. The length of outings will depend on the comfort level of Big, Little, and parent. If your Little is young, a shorter outing will be best to start.
HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD I SPEND?
Seek out free or low-cost, simple activities, especially in the beginning. Our agency will offer group activities that are a great way to meet other Bigs and Littles! We will also offer a monthly e-bulletin with information about free or inexpensive activities in the area. You will also receive emails about opportunities for free tickets for your match to attend a variety of cultural and sports activities. Buying gifts for your Little will actually stifle your friendship, because your Little will have the wrong expectations of the friendship.
WHAT ARE SOME GOOD IDEAS FOR OUTINGS WITH MY LITTLE?
Friendships develop through shared experiences. Start your match with something simple and casual where you can learn about each other. Play catch in the park, bake cookies, bowl, have a picnic lunch, take a bike ride, or visit the library. This will set your Little’s expectations for the time your share. Save special outings or events (which you both agree on) until after you have built an understanding and your friendship is solid. Your Match Support Team can also give many suggestions.
WHAT KINDS OF ACTIVITIES SHOULD I AVOID AT FIRST?
Commercial “Fun” Stores: Gameworks, Boomers, Chuck-e-Cheese – these can be really fun places, but costly. Save these for special occasions only, such as birthday, good grades, etc., and only if you choose this as an okay activity.
Movies: It is important to communicate while engaged in a common interest with your Little: hard to do at a movie. When you do go, be sure to share your reactions and thoughts of what you saw after the show.
Shopping: Avoid this as an activity unless you both agree on the purpose and goal, such as how to make a sound purchase for a Mother’s Day gift or spend an allowance wisely. If you choose to shop, set limits as you would with any child who, confronted with enticing displays, wants something he/she cannot have.
CAN I BRING MY PARTNER/FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER ON OUTINGS?
It is important to spend one-on-one time hanging out with your Little getting to know each other. It is good for your Little to get to know the people who are important to you – this can be a great way for you to model appropriate friendship/relationship skills, but spend at least half of your outings in one-on-one activities so your Little benefits from your special attention.
WHAT IS THE MATCH SUPPORT TEAM?
The Match Support Team is a group of specialists who can help you develop your friendship, address any questions, concerns, or problems, and give you guidance throughout your match. The team can help you understand what is happening in your friendship and flag problems before they start. They can also be a helpful link to resources.
WHAT IF MY LITTLE DOES NOT TALK TO ME AFTER WE MEET?
Some children aren’t used to having an attentive listener and are uncomfortable talking. Here are some pointers…
Use humor to get conversations going; there is nothing like a good laugh to break the ice. (Your Match Support Team can give you great tips on this.)
Keep intermittent eye contact; look at your Little when he/she is talking, and smile when it is appropriate.
When your Little is talking, make sure he or she knows you are not distracted, and be an active listener: Tell me more about that, what happened next, how did you feel? (Not: Why did/didn’t/won’t you, How could you, etc.)
Be aware of your body language and facial expressions…avoid folding your arms, rolling your eyes, frowning, or otherwise showing disapproval.
